- Mike Gahagan
A soccer poem for March.
The soccer shipping forecast
Its true that in Viking
The sun’s to our liking
As it is Fisher and in Dover
In German Bight
It’ll rain all the night
Whereas in Malin it is now almost over.
In Hebrides
It’s bound to freeze
Similar to that in FitzRoy
It will be sunny all day
In Fair Isle and Biscay
And in Shannon the weather’s a joy.
It may be vulgar
To mention Trafalgar
As having a terrible time
But in Lundy and Sole
They have had on the whole
A far better day than poor Tyne.
In Portland Bill
They’ll get such a thrill
From a wind that’s stronger than Fastnet
There’ll be many a squall
In Bailey and Rockall
And ten degrees is as good as they’ll get.
While up in the Forth
There’s no sun of course
The weather men all tend to agree
That in Plymouth and Wight
It will rain in the night
Whist a storm hits the cold Irish Sea
No-one really knows
What it’s like in Faroes
Whilst the sun never sets in Fair Isle
They’re fishing for salmon
Off the coast up in Shannon
As they ride out the winds all the while
In Southeast Iceland
They play out their hand
By claiming the sun never shines
While in Dogger and Thames
They’ve persuaded their friends
Saying that these are the loveliest climes.
In Utsire north and south
At the Humber’s broad mouth
The drizzle’s beginning to pall
In Forties and Cromarty
With a terrible symmetry
It hasn’t stopped snowing at all
In all of these regions
They’ll turn out in legions
For soccer in sun or in snow
To watch or to play
For their own team that day
It’s a part of our culture you know!