A soccer poem for March.

The soccer shipping forecast

Its true that in Viking

The sun’s to our liking

As it is Fisher and in Dover

In German Bight

It’ll rain all the night

Whereas in Malin it is now almost over.

In Hebrides

It’s bound to freeze

Similar to that in FitzRoy

It will be sunny all day

In Fair Isle and Biscay

And in Shannon the weather’s a joy.

It may be vulgar

To mention Trafalgar

As having a terrible time

But in Lundy and Sole

They have had on the whole

A far better day than poor Tyne.

In Portland Bill

They’ll get such a thrill

From a wind that’s stronger than Fastnet

There’ll be many a squall

In Bailey and Rockall

And ten degrees is as good as they’ll get.

While up in the Forth

There’s no sun of course

The weather men all tend to agree

That in Plymouth and Wight

It will rain in the night

Whist a storm hits the cold Irish Sea

No-one really knows

What it’s like in Faroes

Whilst the sun never sets in Fair Isle

They’re fishing for salmon

Off the coast up in Shannon

As they ride out the winds all the while

In Southeast Iceland

They play out their hand

By claiming the sun never shines

While in Dogger and Thames

They’ve persuaded their friends

Saying that these are the loveliest climes.

In Utsire north and south

At the Humber’s broad mouth

The drizzle’s beginning to pall

In Forties and Cromarty

With a terrible symmetry

It hasn’t stopped snowing at all

In all of these regions

They’ll turn out in legions

For soccer in sun or in snow

To watch or to play

For their own team that day

It’s a part of our culture you know!